“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is  seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:8,9, 16-18

Well, as many of you are accustomed to my political, health, wellness, social media, business, charity, arts & entertainment published articles/blogs, I am now going to exclusively, focus on my journey to healing from a rare blood cancer (Amyloidosis) and Multiple Myeloma that I was diagnosed with a couple of months ago – on my birthday, no doubt!  My crippled hands will do their best to keep my friends, family and supporters informed about this uncertain journey in my life.

I have been suffering for about two years now, starting out with severe colon problems (five years after a partial colostomy) which were thought to be the root cause of my wrath with several long hospital stays, pain, suffering, invasive procedures, infection, compromised immune systemf and disability….  After my second two week stay last year right before Christmas, the prominent symptoms of tongue swelling became worse, affecting my speech, swallowing, eating, breathing, sleeping with much mouth numbing and pain with excessive swelling of my neck, lymph glands and much jaw/gum pain that was very strange and Doc’s could not figure out what was wrong?  I was treated for thrush and a host of other related problems, taking many pharmaceuticals  (against my better judgment) that did not work.

The rash that had appeared around my eyes and neck progressed to the point where contact dermatitis/allergies/skin product irritation were all ruled out and my face no longer resembled my clear complexion that I was known for and the severity of the blood vessel rash appeared sometimes immediately, when someone was having a conversation with me – literally, out of nowhere???  Then, a few months later, I developed excessive swelling in my feet and legs to the point that it appeared as though I had “elephant legs” just in time for summer – lovely!  The hyper swelling of my lower extremeties finally dissipated, mysteriously, after I was released from U of M Hospital in Ann Arbor, MI on September 13, 2012 with a diagnosis of Primary Amyloidosis with Multiple Myeloma.  After over a year of Doc, specialist, ER, hospital stays, PET scans, MRI’s, CT-scans, bone marrow biopsies, massive blood analysis, colonoscopies, scopes, swallow tests, pulmonary tests, other biopsies, etc…., it was the Dermatology Research Medical Staff at U of M who finally, put a name on my suffering that no other specialists could identify!

The diagnosis was bittersweet as it came with a CANCER judgement and price tag with a dim outlook of the reality of my future, however, I finally received closure as to why I have been suffering so much with no real tangible answers and solutions for help. (spent a small fortune trying to mitigate symptoms, on tests, and products just to feel better).  All of my tests from U of M Hospital were sent to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota where it was verified last month that, indeed, I am suffering from a rare blood disorder called Amyloidosis that has started to reak havoc on my body systems, organs and tissues at an alarming rate with the amyloid proteins building-up in my blood.  I have seen eight specialists regarding the different problems I have been experiencing and there is a consensus that most of my problems are due to the Amyloid mimicking the harsh nerve, bone, joint, colon and Rheumatoid Arthritis that I have been suffering from and there is no way to really gage when I acquired this disease which really makes it so hard to fathom?

So now, I have succumbed to the Allopathic Way of treatments which include a mixture of four “chemical cocktails” plus steroids, anti-nausea meds, and pain killers weekly with a 1x per week big dose infusion of two “chemo” drugs.   Most likely, I will have to have a stem cell transplant in six months determined by how the chemo goes in the interim.  After much research and considering the “stage 3” status that I am in, I have given-in to the medical establishment to try and help preserve my life!  I am still a Naturopath at heart and am using integrative, holistic therapies, supplements and good organic foods and juicing to, hopefully, deter many of the harsh side effects.  I sure wish that I had the money to be treated at an integrative Cancer Center which treats people individually with both chemo and natural alternative treatments which speed-up the healing process and have better over-all success rates.  I have researched, written about, and have even taken advantage of these expensive methods and was cured of Ovarian cancer twice!   Unfortunately, I do not have the financial status to take advantage of all the years of study and being a “guinipig” with alternatives that have been proven to work and maintain a better quality of life rather than the 1940’s “chemical way”….  Praying to win the lottery now so I can take advantage of what I know in my heart and mind that works!

You can understand my frustration and conflict, especially, those who know me as being a “health nut” all my life and practicing what I preach with determination and discipline with results that have left Doctors speechless!  I have overcome more health challenges than most starting from a wrongful ER appendectomy at eight years old which caused trauma to my system and lead to be wrongfully diagnosed as a Juvenile Diabetic which has cost me on every level for my entire life… I have never been the same and, ironically, I am now on ½ the insulin dosage that I was first placed on 37 years after the fact!  Docs have basically either called me an enigma or have had no solutions but tell me to keep up with all that I have been doing as the blood tests are proof enough!

I had my first “Chemo” treatments yesterday and it sure was daunting.  I am extremely fatigued and weak, however, did not get overwhelmed by nausea or vomiting so far!  My hair has been falling out since a light infusion that I had last month to lower the high calcium levels in my blood.  My hair is, indeed, falling out and I look like a monster.  I am also gaining weight at a meteoric rate due to the steroids – 8 1/2 lbs. in less than a week!   My blood sugars are a roller coaster ride due to the steroids making this whole process even more difficult and challenging for me as a JD.  Cancer feeds on sugar so it is going to be a full-time job for me to try to keep my sugars controlled.  :(  I hope that all of this suffering and trauma will be worth it in the end as I would not wish this wrath on anyone.  My destiny has changed, and do not know how I am going to survive having to take at least a year out of work, but, I do know that God is Good and that He has a plan, even if it resembles nothing that I envisioned for myself.  My intent of blogging about my personal saga is to help, inform, inspire, educate and relate so that, perhaps, I can be a conduit to assist someone who is going through a similar dilemma or create an awareness of this deplorable disease which is not highly recognized by the medical establishment so that no one has to suffer any day longer than needed in order to obtain a proper diagnosis.

Three positive signs happened to me yesterday which gave me hope that God is watching out for me:

1. As I arrived to get by blood draw, a choir of singing Quakers sang beautiful spiritual melodies which touched my heart and soul.  The last song was Amazing Grace and I lost it as I heard my deceased mother’s voice in the choir and, ironically, AG was performed at my mother’s funeral six years ago…  Bittersweet tears of sadness, hope and joy, ensued…
2. While waiting to see my Hematologist/Oncologist, I found my lost nail file next to my mini-Bible?  This was truy a miracle and gift from my mother above as I scoured my handbag earlier and the file was NOT in the pouch it was supposed to be in and nowhere else in the purse?  I truly believe that my mother knew my annoying frustration of having two hang nails that were really bothering me, so, voila – the nail file mysteriously appeared so I did not have to deal with another stressor of snagging everything that I touched during this difficult day.  Thank you, Mom!  :-)  (update: the glass nail file is now officially missing – nowhere to be had? Hmmmmm……..)
3. As I was leaving the U of M Cancer Center, I noticed a familiar symbol on the car in front of me – it was a Spartan in Wolverine territory.  I felt a sense of comfort and whimsy knowing that I was not the only Sparty in Ann Arbor!  :-) 

Thanks to all of my friends, family, supporters and online audience for your caring, compassion, thoughts, prayers, resources and unconditional love.  I have so much gratitude that words could never convey…

Praise the Lord for He is Good!

What Cancer Cannot Do:

It cannot cripple love,
Shatter hope,
Corrode faith,
Destroy peace,
Kill friendship,
Supress memories,
Silence courage,
Invade the soul,
Steal eternal life,
Conquer the spirit,

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